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Exciting news today in the world of science. Starting back in the late 80s, prompted by the growing concern about what effect pop culture was having on the youth of the nation, the United States government started funding a project to determine exactly what effect listening to rock music has on an individual. Precise experiments were conducted with results that have surprised everyone except the rock enthusiasts.
Rock and Roll was found to be a highly effective cure for many common ailments including, but not limited to: close mindedness, old age, boredom and unhappiness.
Although music enthusiasts have been singing the praises of rock and roll since it's inception, the results of these tests have finally provided scientific proof. The results are quite extraordinary, often having almost immediate effects. One participant was quoted as saying "... once they turned on that rock music, I just immediately felt better, like I was happy, having fun and more alive than I have been in years..." Another was quoted adding that "... rock and roll is the life enhancer that he's been searching for his entire life..." A third even went on to say that "... rock and roll is nothing short of a miracle drug..." while another said "... I can't believe it's been around all these years and I never knew... You'd think something this good would have caught on by now..." People have already embraced the new therapy making rock and roll a part of their daily lives. Concert tickets have been snapped up by everyone from teens to seniors... the effect is expected to be stronger when the rock and roll is live... causing prices to skyrocket and many bands to add extra shows to deal with added demand. Bands like Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd both have signed on to reunite and tour in an effort to improve the lives of people across the globe. Closer to home, yoga studios have been witnessed using AC/DC and Guns N' Roses as opposed to the standard new age fair as accompaniment, while several doctors have started prescribing two albums and a heavy dose of rockin' out, with fantastic results.
There are detractors though, most of whom seem in dire need of rock and roll's benefits, and they are whole heartedly speaking out against the new rock treatments. They insist that "...more tests need to be conducted with better control..." or that "... this is too dangerous, playing with rock and roll is playing with the devil, all those loud guitars and suggestive lyrics... it's just not right...". One particularly outspoken protester was even quoted saying that "... this rock music makes me think and exposes me to new ideas, scary ideas that can't be right because they're not what I believe..." while another expressed that "... these people wouldn't know a good cure for ailments if they heard it..."
The debate will surely rage on, but for now it seems that for some at least rock and roll is no longer just music, but something that makes people happy, makes them feel alive, and opens their mind up to new things.
Talk about exciting news for rock and roll enthusiasts. I almost hate to reveal the truth (as if it isn't obvious)...
April Fools from the Soul of Rock 'n' Roll!!
Just thought I'd have a little fun with some tongue and cheek this April Fools, although when you really think about it, there's a lot more truth in this article than it seems on first glance. I don't know about the rest of you, but rock and roll sure does cure my ailments.
Have a good April Fools Day everyone, I'm sure there's plenty of other great pranks being played across the Internet so keep an eye out.
Check back tomorrow when I continue with the regularly scheduled programing: the Carnival of Rock 'n' Roll.